New year new you, right? Not always. Here is the missing piece to achieving your 2020 resolutions. Hint: you don’t have to do it alone!
2019 was a strange, but monumental year for me.
I started the year just like the last 3 with some big goals:
- lose weight
- grow my business
- transform our home into one we love
And as I sit here reflecting on the goals, I didn’t accomplish any of them completely. Again, typical.
Let me back up by saying, New Years’ Eve 2018 we had to say goodbye to our sweet and feisty Queen Marlene. My heart was shattered.
As the months went on, I couldn’t get out of the funk. My depression kicked in and took me to one of the darkest, and scariest, places I’ve ever been. I thought I’d never get out.
In July, we said goodbye to our sweet, 19 year old kitty, Sisqo. Again, my heart was broken. I’d had him in my life longer than not and couldn’t imagine home without him.
Then, in November, we said goodbye to our happy go lucky Otis and I lost it.
I’m sure you know the devastating reality of losing a furbaby. I don’t know that you ever recover, and as a family, we grieved.
Throughout the year I’d find sparks of motivation and get out for a run, or revisit my business focus and website, or declutter our home.
But nothing stuck. In fact, in terms of my goal areas, I was worse off than the start of the year.
All the while, I’m catching on to some key concepts for living present and realizing my mental health is the most important thing for me to work on. Without some control on my wild brain, I’d never be happy enough to focus on improving anything.
So with the support of my family, I worked through the year on finding myself again. I spent a TON of time focusing on my mental health. I listened to podcasts, read self-help books, cried, felt sorry for myself, thought I wouldn’t make it through and things would never change. I’d never be happy with life.
And through it all, I would think, maybe a pretty organized home, losing 40lbs, winning the lottery and getting some sunshine would turn my depression around and I’d look forward to socializing, holidays and opportunities again.
Clearly, I was lying to myself. None of those things would fix my lack of enthusiasm for life. It had to be internal.
Part of finding happiness is the journey, not the result itself. The lessons learned are more valuable than the outcome. The lessons are what keep you going when the going gets tough.
What I’ve learned and have to remind myself of everyday:
- Life is difficult sometimes, and that’s ok.
- I actually am able to change things that bring me down, and it’s ok that it’s not all at once.
- You will always try to talk yourself out of something you’re uncomfortable doing, that’s just your brain’s way of keeping you safe. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.
- Don’t overthink it, just do it.
- You can’t be perfect at anything, forgive yourself and do your best.
- You can live the life you want right now. You don’t have to wait for the money, or weight loss, or success or the permission of others who are telling you to stay safe because they’re uncomfortable with your big goals.
That being said, mental health needs to be cared for like your physical health. It’s so important to realize that and not beat yourself up for having a bad day. In fact, don’t let yourself have a bad day. If a moment or circumstance is bad, let it be bad and move on. Don’t let it transform your whole day and paralyze you into relapsing to your bad habits that come from your emotions.
This post contains affiliate links which means I may receive a small commission if you use the links I’ve included in this article for your convenience. Fresh Coast Home is an affiliate for Amazon Associates. Please know, I only recommend what I stand behind.
So here’s what happened this year and what I’m going to do in 2020
I didn’t lose weight, in fact, I gained. Lot of bored eating and Netflix binging.
I’m already going into 2020 having focused on meal prepping, moving and working out daily and stretching. I’m down 4lbs but the biggest change has been my outlook on food and how good it feels to move my body.
Here are my favorite resources for getting your mindset right to improve your health
- Design Your Dream Life Podcast by Natalie Bacon
- The Life Coach School Podcast by Brooke Castillo
- Nutritarian website and meal plan
No real progression in the business. I have a few courses that I failed to finish, products I wanted to create that never got around to and people I wanted to meet. December was the most focused month for business. I was able to get out my Intentional Holiday Planner and a few projects done.
January really has allowed me to refocus and figure out the direction I want to go in. I’ve narrowed in on what I want to be able to provide and how I want to help. I’ve created more content than I have in months and am very excited for what’s to come this year.
Here are my favorite resources for starting an online business
- How to Blog for Profit: without selling your soul by Ruth Soukup
- For hosting your website, I love SiteGround. Their customer support is out of this world!
- To make your site look gorgeous and function the way you want it to, a theme is the easiest way to do so. ConvertKit and am extremely pleased.
We actually made some big strides in our home in 2019. Most of it was done in the month of July as I had some time off of work. We worked so hard and were thrilled with the results!
- We redid the flooring – Hallelujiah!
- Updated the curb appeal
- Made over the deck
- Painted the living and dining room
- Painted the kitchen and cabinets
- Added security lights and camera after a break-in
I’m so excited for this year’s changes. We’ve got big plans and we’re diving into 2020 having already brought many bags of no longer needed items for donation. We’ve worked on decluttering and got the laundry room cleaned up and more functional. Here’s what else we have planned:
- Master bedroom makeover
- Built in dining nook for dining room
- Sunporch makeover
- New bathtub/bathroom refresh
- Home office/closet makeover
- Massive declutter
- Fix the backyard fence
- Finish the deck railing
Here are some other goals for the home that aren’t projects
- Stop buying so many grocery products that are packaged
- Create coziness
- Entertain more
- Use the backyard like crazy
Some of the resources I’m currently using for the home are
- The Complete Book of Home Organization – This walks you through decluttering each area of your home while keeping it functional for your needs. I use this book daily for ideas and tricks to declutter and make sense of what seems like a mess.
- Impactful Habits, Organized Home by Abby Lawson – I’ve followed Abby for years and have watched her transform into the guru of organization. Seriously, check out some of those before and afters! This course provides the strategy, a guide, and labels for getting your home in order. She and her husband taught us to go paperless, and it is a gamechanger! I wrote about it over here.
For a new hobby or big dream
I absolutely LOVE learning something new. New skills, new arts, new hobbies. If you’re thinking about starting something new, take a look at MasterClass. This online course library is incredible and offers tips and advice from the expert in your desired field. I’ve taken several courses as I had Acting with Samuel L Jackson
and so many more. And if they all sound tempting, If you need a little boost in your morning routine for productivity, check out this post.
What are some of your favorite resources and go-to’s when you’re feeling stuck? Let me know in the comments below!